Anybody Wanna Join My Pity Party?

I suspect that most of you are surrounded by loving family and friends. And, for those months while we thot I was going to have brain surgery on my basilar artery (not real good chances for coming out better than you went in), I had so many people calling and praying and sending cards. I became really symptomatic in April, 2006. Since I own my own business I could schedule appointment on days I was not too weak to get out of bed. By May of '09 it was obvious I was having to cut back more and more. If I worked 1 day I would be in the bed for at least the next 2 days recouperating. I was using a cane and just prayed I didn't fall out in front of them. In August I began using a wheelchair outside the house. We had several bad incidents in public that I just prefer not to risk being on someone else's floor. I stopped driving last January-I don't feel safe, and my reflexes are slow. I have not shut down my company, nor have I applied for SSI. I am almost 53. There will be no retirement check. There is no money in savings. There is no income from my business. My husband is also disbled (RA) and after 2 yrs he got SSI. He also gets a retirement check from the State. Tho a blessing, it is not enough to pay the bills. So many losses to try to take in. This is not me. I am the fun Mommy, Nina, Aunt-I I take them all to the fair because I love to see the joy on their faces; I am the one that gets in the pool cuz I don,r