Movies and Curls and Hurricaines

It has been a rainy couple of days; perfect weather to match my mood, and it certainly has been playing havoc with my poor body. I have pain in places I didn't know could hurt. Kind of like the flu x 3 without the fever? Nausea but gotta consume copious amounts of water. Could literally live on a couple of crackers (to cover the 12 pills twice a day). A couple of nice things- I did get my hair cut short and colored and highlighted. We so did not need to spend that money on me, but... I needed the lift. The funniest thing happened tho- my hairdresser (who is like a sister to me) kept commenting on how my hair was falling out faster than she could cut- but, when she got finished cutting, I had a head full of CURLS! I have never had curls. It looks really cute, alot like Meg Ryan's used to look. Just brush it, run wet hands thu it, and go. Now, if only I could go! Lol! That was Thursday. On Friday my 14 y/o daughter wanted to go to a movie with a girlfriend, so Glenn and I went to the movie across the hall. It felt so good to get out in the real world. Would you believe my wheelchair will not fit into the trunk of the Neon? So, if there are more than 3 going we have to borrow mama's car. Car is upside down so no chance of trading it. Will just have to make do. I never realized when I was assessing and making recommendations for elderly and disabled people what a difference small things make. The neon sits almost on the ground- getting up and out of it is a struggle. Our toilet seats are low, and if the vanity wasn't right next to it I may not be able to get up. On bad days, I need help getting out of the bed or sofa. I don't know how to get any stronger when I can't sit up or stand up. I lay there and do the leg lifts and pelvic tilts, and ankle rolls- anything I can think of. But sudden movement makes me dizzy. I hate this. I hate everything about it!!! I cannot stand being dependent on Glenn for everything. I want me back!!!!! I want this damn monster out of me!!! I am sorry for being angry, but I am not ready to accept that this is my life. NO!! NO WAY!!